


lilacs

by HowDoYouWrite



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depersonalization, M/M, fluffy and angsty at the same time somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:21:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowDoYouWrite/pseuds/HowDoYouWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete and Patrick have been together for a while now, so Pete decides that it's finally time to tie the knot. They've stayed together through thick and thin. They were simply meant to be. They’re soulmates. They’re supposed to be together.<br/>At least that’s what Pete thinks, and what Pete thinks Patrick believes, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Pete couldn’t contain his excitement. Patrick knew the place and he would be there in an hour or so, once he finished some work thing at his apartment. Right under the dogwood tree in the middle of the local park, right by the field of budding lilacs. That’s where they ended their first date at. It’s also where they had their first kiss, and where they decided to start dating. This tree meant a lot to both of the boys, and Pete was going to honor it with holding the important event of the proposal. Pete wasn’t quite sure how to buy an engagement ring, but after advice from all of his lady friends and many trips to many different stores (including Zales, Kay, JCPenney, Macy’s, and Walmart) he finally found the perfect one for Patrick. It was a simple gleaming silver band. Nothing outgoing or extraordinary. Just like their relationship.

They were simply meant to be. They’re soulmates. They’re supposed to be together. At least that’s what Pete thinks, and what Pete thinks Patrick believes, too. Pete took the time to look back on the history of their relationship, beginning with the place they met- kindergarten. He found it amazing that they’ve known each other this long.

 

_Little six year old Pete dashed around the playground. It was the first day of kindergarten and since he hadn’t gone to the preschool around this school, he didn’t know anyone. He was very social, though, so he had no problem making friends. All he had to do was walk up to someone and ask to be their friend. Simple. He already made a couple of friends using this method. Mikey, Andy, Joe, Spencer, and Ryan were their names. Pete wanted lots of friends though, and didn’t want to settle on just those five. He left them during recess to go meet another group of people and hopefully befriend them. The group he was after was sitting in the gazebo. When he approached them, they all went quiet and awaited his next move. Pete squeaked out the big question, “Want to be my friend?”_

_The group exchanged a few glances of mixed emotions, and the tallest one finally gave a reply for the entire group, “Sure.” Pete sat with them and they talked more. These guys seemed to be more immersed in books and games and fantasy more than what Pete normally talks about with his first friends, but he didn’t mind. There was never an introduction, but Pete was quick to pick up on their names. The tall one was Dallon. The one who never really added to the conversation but kept nodding in agreement was Gerard. The one passionate about his opinions was Brendon. The boy and the girl holding a side conversation about their favorite things were Patrick and Melanie. The girl and the boy who were holding hands were Sarah and Brendon. Pete didn’t see why Brendon was interested in Sarah. He didn’t feel an attraction towards the girls, so why would Brendon? Pete also didn’t understand why they let girls in their group. Ryan always said that girls were gross and full of diseases, but Sarah and Melanie weren’t the monsters he told Pete about. Maybe girls start off nice but then grow to become disgusting? The whole situation was confusing and hard to understand._

 

Pete chuckles softly to himself, remembering the girls. He never liked them in a romantic way, and when he tried telling his friends this in the 5th grade, they just told him it was because he hadn’t found the right girl yet and that it was impossible for guys to like guys. Little did those ten year olds know...

 

_“Be good to Mrs. Smith, now! See you tomorrow morning!” Pete’s mom beamed as she walked towards the door, leaving just Mrs. Smith as the only adult in the house. It was Friday night and since Pete had finished his homework right after school, his mom decided to lift his groundment and let him to go Spencer’s sleepover. Pete bounced up the stairs and made his way to Spencer’s room, plopping his belongings on the floor by the door and jumping onto the bed where Spencer and Andy were seated._

_The sleepover was going well for the most part. The only major thing that went wrong was their nerf gun battle, which resulted in Mikey having to leave early because he was freaking out over his bloody nose and didn’t want to stay any longer. It had been hours since Pete arrived, but he was still anxious. Not for the sleepover, but for what he was going to say when he asked his friends about girls. He watched a few movies about sleepovers and noticed a reoccurring pattern of the attendants talking about their crushes, so he decided to wait until then. Then, the time finally came._

_“Guys, I wanna talk about girls.” Spencer stated and awaited their replies. It was such a straightforward request that Pete wanted to laugh, but he held back._

_“I think I like that one girl, Marie.” Joe blurted out, earning a chorus of ‘Oooh!’ from the others._

_“I think Melanie’s hair is nice…” Ryan added in, almost saying this as a question, like he’s not sure if that’s what he should’ve said._

_“Okay, dude, that’s just creepy. Why are you staring at her anyways?” Spencer retorts and the rest of the guys laugh half-heartedly._

_“Anyways, I fancy-”_

_“Just because Mr. Betitelt_ _used that word once doesn’t mean you have to use it all the time, Christ!” Pete chipped in and Ryan nodded vigorously in agreement._

_Spencer rolled his eyes and continued, “I fancy Haley,” he added an emphasis on ‘fancy’. Everyone just nodded. It was their first time confessing their feelings so nobody really knew what to do or respond with._

_Pete took this silence as his chance. “I don’t like girls. Is that normal?” Everyone started laughing. Although Ryan’s sounded a little forced, but everything he did was forced. He was one of the laziest boys of the grade, next to Bob, but Ryan at least pushed himself to try. Pete wanted to disappear._

_“You probably just don’t like any of the girls here. You’ll find one eventually.” Andy told Pete._

_Pete just nodded and said, “Yeah, that was stupid of me to say. You’re right. I’ll find a girl.”_

_But Pete never did find a girl. Just a beautiful boy with magnificent blue eyes and soft skin._

 

Pete smiled thinking about Patrick. He loves that boy with all of his heart, soul, and body. He’s only truly loved Patrick. Of course, he dated others, but Patrick was the only one he considered a lover. Everyone before him- Mikey, Ryan, Tyler, even Meagan (who he never considered a girlfriend, either. It was just the girl he took to prom since her real boyfriend was killed a week before and he felt horrible and wanted to help, but then the prom date grew into a small summer fling)- were just filler. 

“ _ What about Patrick’s during? _ ” A tiny voice like his own chirped in his head. Pete wanted to slap himself for thinking that. He didn’t want to think about Patrick’s affair. It was in the past, he was forgiven, now they’re going to get married and adopt children and get a house in the suburbs and everything will be fine. He agreed with himself to never bring up the cheating incident again, but there was a small part of him that didn’t want to let go. That part wants to burn all of Patrick’s stuff and rip out his intestines and eat them. That part is very disgusting and highly disturbing.

_ “The proof is on the table. I don’t know that kid’s name, but he definitely went to school with us. One of Mikey’s brother’s friends… meaning that he was also probably friends with Patrick.” Andy said as Pete continues to grow closer and closer to crying as he looks over the photos of the two boys holding hands and hugging and laughing. He normally would’ve said that Patrick was just a very touchy-feely person with great hugs, but the photo in the far left corner, the one where the two had connected lips, crushed that argument. _

_ “He’s kind of cute, y’know. Not Patrick- his second lover. I don’t blame him for going after th-” Ryan started but Andy swatted at his arm to signal him to shut up before Pete punched him in the throat.  _

_ Patrick never seemed like the cheating type, so why?  _

_ All of his friends got happy endings with love! Spencer and Haley… Joe and Marie… so why couldn’t Pete just have Patrick? Why? _

_ “Spencer broke up with Haley a few months ago.” Ryan told Pete, earning a confused stare from Pete. _

_ “You said that out loud.” Andy explained, earning a groan from Pete. _

_ “He met another girl, though. What’s her name? I forget her name.” _

_ “I’m fucking out. I’m calling that lying bastard out!” Pete growled, grabbed his jacket, and stormed out of the bar. _

Pete stops the memory there. No need to remind himself of the pain of the argument. This was a happy day. Happy, joyous times only. The boy Patrick was with- Brendon, the passionate and outgoing kindergartener who grew up to becoming a manwhore with a giant forehead- started dating Ryan after he was caught. That’s where Pete drew the line and cut ties with all his past. Including Andy, Joe, the Way brothers, anyone… including Patrick. 

This time only lasted for a month, though. Patrick came back, longing for Pete, and Pete accepted the apology. This is how Pete knew they were destined to be together forever. He would’ve never forgiven him, but somehow his heart took over his brain and let Patrick back. He did not regret this. They loved each other. Patrick was just going through a rough time and needed an escape when Pete couldn’t be there for him. 

Patrick was the only one allowed back though. Nobody else, just Patrick. 

“ _ Okay, okay, happy thoughts only. _ ” A much stronger voice in Pete’s head tells him. Pete nods in agreement, but since the voice was in his head, he looked a little weird to the passersby. This didn’t cross Pete’s mind, though. He settled on the time when he finally decided to search up his sexuality… and what a certain friend had to say about it.

_ Pete had been procrastinating his love life ever since Spencer’s sleepover. Anytime anyone wanted to talk about love, he shut them out. People eventually caught on and stopped trying to approach him with the subject. Nobody talked to Pete Wentz about love, not even the teachers. _

_ Until one day in his freshman year, Pete realized he had to come to terms with himself.  _

_ Pete signed up to stay after school to use the library’s computers so he could look up what was wrong with him. He never met a girl he liked, he never felt any romantic affection towards any of the girls in his life, but he did feel affection towards the males… Mikey Way in particular. He began to type “I’m a guy and I like guys” and was pleasantly surprised to see that it autofilled the statement for him at “I’m a guy and I l-”. It was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one asking. He clicked on the first article and read all the way through, finding out that this feeling is called ‘homosexuality’ or ‘being gay’. Pete had heard that word many times before but never really found out it’s true meaning. Gay.  _

_ His friends had used gay as insults many times before. Was it insulting and bad to be gay? Pete had to find out. He typed that up too and read through the many articles until the librarian announced that it was closing time for the school library. Pete complied and left with the crowd, seeing as he had done his research and found what he wanted. _

_ Gay. Homo. Fag. Huh. _

_ The next day, Pete got a phone call from Ryan. This was unusual because Ryan normally never talked or hung out with their group on the weekends, and sometimes didn’t even talk during the weekdays. He was the outcast of the group, even though everyone still acknowledged his existence and tried to speak with him. For these reasons, Pete quickly picked up. It could only mean Ryan was hurt or in trouble.... _

_ “Pete?” _

_ “Ryan? Are you okay?” Pete questioned without taking a breath in between words.  _

_ “Yes… maybe,” Ryan sounded broken and dazed. Pete’s heart was racing. _

_ “Huh?” _

_ “Can I come over? My dad’s been... “ _

_ “Oh, yeah, yeah. Feel free to swoop by whenever.” Pete had completely forgotten about his family issues. It would make sense that Ryan would be in danger if his dad had been drinking again.  _

_ Ryan biked over to Pete’s house and the two made their way to Pete’s bedroom, sitting on the bed together in silence for a while. _

_ “Pete, I know you hate talking about love but, can you make an exception?” Ryan said so softly it could probably be classified as a whisper. _

_ “If you really need to talk.” _

_ “I think… I… I don’t know.” Ryan let out a huff of breath and closed his eyes. Pete just stared in confusion. _

_ “What’s her name? Is she in any of my classes? I might be able to-” _

_ “H- His name is... I don’t know, actually.” _

_ “His?” Pete was shocked to hear the male pronoun. Did that mean-? _

_ “Yes, his. I’m fucking gay. I’m so fucking gay I can barely function.”  _

_ “Me too, buddy.” Pete laughed nervously after adding that on, and Ryan’s heart skipped a beat in wonder and happiness. He wasn’t alone.  _

_ “Holy fuck, really?”  _

_ “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, George?” Pete jokingly scolded Ryan with his real first name, which he knew would annoy him. “So, tell me about this his.”  _

_ “Brown hair, brown eyes. Hangs with those kids that came from our district. One of them is Mikey’s brother, if that helps trigger any help on appearances or names.” _

_ “Oh yeah, those kids-” _

_ “They’re in our grade….” Ryan interrupted. _

_ “I call everyone a kid, kid. Anyways, yeah, I’m familiar with them.” _

_ “Do you know m- the one I’m talking about than?” Ryan asked with hope radiating off every word. _

_ “Uhm…” Pete searched his mind for their names, but none except for Gerard and Melanie were found, “No, sorry.” _

_ “Damn.” _

Brendon motherfucking goddamn Urie, that’s who Ryan wanted (and who he eventually got, after a little help from Patrick). The name Brendon made Pete’s heart race and his blood turn ice cold. 

“ _ HAPPY THOUGHTS, HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING THOUGHTS ONLY YOU FUCKFACE.”  _ The voice in Pete’s head screams at him, so he decides to check on his various social media profiles on his phone as a distraction. He turns on his phone and the screen flashes with a text alert from an unknown number. He swipes open to read it. “ _ Pete? I know u probably don’t have my number (cus y would u) but this is an e _ -”

The screen turns black.

His phone dies.

Pete would go back home and charge it to read the text, but he doesn’t want to confuse Patrick or delay the proposal, so it can wait. For now, he just has flashbacks to keep him company. Happy ones only, though, such as his and Patrick’s trip to Boston for the Fourth of July.

_ “If we want to get a good view then we have to leave right now! You’re taking forever!” Patrick whines as Pete plops onto the hotel bed to tie his sneakers. _

_ “The sun hasn’t even set and there’s three hours until the fireworks start, ‘Trick. You can calm down,” Pete tries to console Patrick. _

_ “But we’re both small men! We won’t be able to see if we can’t secure a spot right now.” _

_ “Fine, let’s go.” Pete stands up and grabs Patrick by the waist, leading him out the door and all the way to the elevator before letting go. _

_ “See, I told you we’d be fine.” Pete pokes Patrick in the stomach and Patrick scoffs and tells Pete that they wouldn’t have been able to get a patch of grass on the hill if they hadn’t left early.  _

_ The two watch as the fireworks go off in patriotic colors, occasionally accompanied by sparks of green, yellow, magenta, and gold. Less than five minutes in, Patrick had laid down on their silk blanket and put his face on Pete’s lap and let Pete play with his hair and squeeze and poke his skin. They stayed like that until the end of the fireworks. Patrick leaned back up during the final firework, and as the crowd erupted in applause, he leaned in for a kiss. Normally, the two lovers tried not to show their affection in public, but the heat of the moment got to them (and besides, nobody was really paying attention anyways).  _

_ Most people tried to shove their way through the crowds to get to their hotels and houses as soon as possible, but a few lingered behind to stargaze or wait for the crowds to pass. Patrick and Pete were in the minority staying. _

_ They returned to the position they were in during the fireworks, Pete running his hand through Patrick’s hair. _

_ “I love you,” Patrick says as he stares up at the faint clouds of smoke still in the air. _

_ “I love you too.” Pete replies as he stares at the sleepy face of his adorable little boyfriend. _

Recounting the events of Boston made Pete feel light and giddy, just like how he is around Patrick, so why not go over another happy memory of theirs?

_ Pete watched as Patrick looked over the A-J section of records. After what felt like forever, Patrick finally picked up one of them. He turned to Pete, holding the record out for him to see, and said, “Does this record make me look fat?” _

_ Pete burst into laughter, causing a few people in the store turn and look at them. This deeply embarrassed Patrick since he wasn’t one for attention, but Pete didn’t even realize the scene he was making.  _

_ “Okay, that wasn’t that funny.” Patrick whispers, adding emphasis on the second ‘that’. _

_ “I think I’m just that far up your ass.” Pete retorts, earning a concerned look from Patrick. _

_ “I… What?” Patrick blinked a few times. _

_ “It’s just an expression for liking someone or something a lot.” _

_ “Oh…” _

_ Patrick makes his way over to the K-Q section and starts scanning the covers for something of interest. Bored of looking for more music, Pete grabs him from behind and lifts him up, spinning him around and putting down facing the door.  _

_ “Oh, shush. Let me find one more thing.” _

_ Pete takes this as a challenge and grabs a random album from the ‘M’ and hands it to Patrick, not bothering to check what it was. _

_ “Fine, you man-child.” Patrick begins walking towards the cashier and Pete trails behind. _

_ “That’ll be fourteen dollars,” the teenage girl working at the counter tells them and Patrick begins to pull money out of his wallet, but Pete throws a crumpled up twenty dollar bill on the counter before Patrick can stop him. The girl gives Pete the change and they exit the shop. _

_ “I could’ve paid…” Patrick says, sounding like he wanted to add something but never found the courage to say it. _

_ “But you didn’t, and I did. It’s fine, and no, you don’t need to pay back.” Pete flashes Patrick a toothy grin, but Patrick just looks down at floor. _

_ “I just don’t think you need to be catering to me. You’re my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy. I can cook my own food, I can do my own laundry, and I can buy my own music.”  _

_ “I… W-Well… O-Okay then.” Pete stutters, not knowing how to respond by Patrick’s sudden outburst.  _

_ “I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t want you to be my maid. All I ask is that you love me and stay loyal.” Patrick looks at Pete, unable to read his expression. _

_ “I get it. And trust me, I do love you. Like a shit load. A fuck ton.” _

_ “So much that it’d propel you into my ass, apparently,” Patrick giggles after his remark and Pete joins in, but with a full on laughing fit instead of a few giggles.  _

_ “Yes, approximately.” Pete grabs Patrick’s hand and intertwines their fingers and the two continue their way through the mall.  _

_ Patrick halts to a stop and turns to face Pete, “I love-” _

“Pete?”

Pete is snapped out of the memory early and looks up to see a guy, probably around the same age, staring at him. 

“Uhm, yes? Can I help you?” Pete tries to sound friendly, but comes off as bitchy due to his confusion.

“I’m Gerard Way-”

“Mikey’s brother?” Pete butts in.

“Yes, uhm… You and Patrick are dating right?” Gerard sounds concerned and in a rush.

“Yeah, but I pl-”

Now’s Gerard’s turn to interrupt, “Follow me. Uhm… I think they have tissues there.”

Gerard’s wording and vagueness intrigues Pete and only adds onto his confusion, so of course he goes with him. They make their way to Gerard’s car and drive off.

The two men walk into a hospital, Pete’s heart pounding.  _ “Why the fuck are we here?”  _

“Gerard-” A nurse begins to say, but is cut off by Gerard grabbing Pete’s arm and running with him towards one of the elevators. “You can’t see-” He begins again, but Gerard is already violently pressing one of the buttons of the elevator to get the doors to close. 

“I think that guy was telling us we couldn’t see…” Pete trails off, not sure if he should finish the sentence in fear he could be wrong of who they were seeing. He highly doubted he was wrong, but you could never know.

“Patrick.” Gerard finishes and the doors of the elevator open. Gerard leads Pete to Patrick’s room and the two enter. The sight is just… wrong. It’s gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, just wrong. “I’ve seen him enough. I’ll watch for any staff.” Gerard states in monotone and leaves the room, leaving just Pete and the wrong scene.

The monitor beeps every few seconds, notifying Pete that Patrick’s still (although barely) alive. Patrick’s arm is wrapped up in bandages and he has an oxygen mask on with the tank hooked on the wall, and he’s also hooked up to the IV. His skin is paler and more purple than usual and he’s sleeping, but he doesn’t look peaceful like he normally does when sleeping. It’s wrong. 

Pete grabs a chair and pulls it up to the bed, sitting in it and holding onto Patrick’s cold hand. He holds the hand up to his mouth and starts muttering stuff like, “I love you, please stay awake, keep fighting, you can make it, ‘Trick.” Pete’s too busy reassuring the body to notice its condition until a flat, steady, beeping noise comes from the monitor. This is all wrong.

Pete stares at the monitor and its flat line with its flat noise in shock and horror. His gaze doesn’t break from the screen, not even when Gerard and some hospice workers come in and pull him away from the bedside. He only stops staring when Gerard shuts the door of the room and brings him out of the hospital. 

“Why-” Pete begins, but Gerard glares at him in a way that’s telling him to shut up. So he does. 

The cause of death is cited as a murder. Patrick’s multiple deep wounds to the stomach and arm made recovery almost impossible. There was only a 20% chance he’d survive, and well, the odds were not in his favor. 

Pete doesn’t attend the funeral, he only goes to the wake. He wouldn’t be able to keep himself together at the funeral. He can’t bring himself to go look at Patrick’s body one last time- everything was just wrong and it hurt all over. The wake is held at his childhood home. Only family and close friends are allowed to attend. Pete doesn’t talk to anyone and nobody talks to Pete. They knew how hard this was for him. Pete listens to their conversations, but only finds one thing of interest from the tens of conversations he heard. “ _ The murderer was identified as Brendon Urie. He escaped police custody, apparently.”  _

The day after the funeral, Pete goes to visit Patrick’s grave. There are only two flowers already placed on the grave since Patrick’s mother requested that her’s, her husband’s, and Pete’s flowers be the first ones placed. Since Pete wasn’t at the funeral, he couldn’t be there for the burial. He leans down and places a single lilac next to a rose, which he assumed was from Patrick’s mom. He chose a lilac since Patrick was always swooning over them whenever they passed them in the flower section of Lowe’s, and since it was a nod to the dogwood tree and the field of lilacs. He never confirmed they were his favorite flower, but experience and evidence pointed to the conclusion that they were. 

 

_ “Pete, these would look great as a dining table centerpiece!” Patrick exclaimed and pointed to the lilacs. _

_ “You think?” Pete questioned with sass dripping off of every word.  _

_ “Okay, maybe not, but they look nice! Please!” Patrick was ready to get on his knees and plead for it. Possibly even unzip Pete’s pants and start… y’know… if he didn’t comply. _

_ “Fine.” Pete rolls his eyes and walks over to the lilacs, looking for the perfect ones for Patrick. He finally finds the right ones and turns around to be met with Patrick’s gleaming, excited eyes.  _

_ “Great!” Patrick squealed and grabs the flowers from Pete’s hands and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. “I love-” _

 

“Wentz.” A voice behind Pete growls and interrupts his thoughts, just like how Gerard this. Except, this voice wasn’t as friendly as Gerard’s.

Pete turns around to be met with the black barrel of a gun. 


	2. gunshots

Ryan zips Brendon’s suitcase and falls onto the bed beside it, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he fell. He loved Brendon- that was for sure- but he wasn’t sure that he could live this life with him. Constantly on the run from the authorities and having to clean him and his clothes of blood each night… Ryan sighs again as the door swings open to reveal a pale Brendon.

“Brend…” Ryan starts and trails off, quickly jumping up to greet the boy. For a second, Ryan actually pitied the murderer. Only a second, though. “What the fuck did you do this time?” Ryan asks with his tone full of panic and anger. “You’re already found out and wanted! Do you want to die?”

Brendon grabs him by the waist and presses his lips onto Ryan’s as he mumbles something inaudible. Ryan quickly pushes him off and shoves him into the door. “Never touch me again,” Ryan growls and sits back down on the bed, “Are you fucking high or drunk or some shit?”

“Just dreaming.”

“What?” Ryan was seriously starting to get worried (Well, as worried as you could get when your boyfriend is a fucking serial killer).

“Nothing,” Brendon punctuates the word with a soft laugh and walks over to grab the suitcase off of the bed.

“You want to leave right now?” Ryan asks and Brendon just grabs the case off the bed and laughs in reply.

“Of course, they’ll find the body any time now. It’s only safe.”

Ryan scoffs and gets ready to lecture, “Oh, yeah, _how_ could I _possibly_ forget that my lover was just out and about killing people? We’ll never fucking be safe because of you and your fucked up mind! Who’d you get this time, anyways?”

“You need to chill-”

“ _Chill?_ Oh, go fuck yourself!” Ryan’s shouting at this point.

“You need to stop cursing, hun.”

“ _Hun? HUN?_ Okay, okay, fine! I’ll just go over to the kitchen and make you a sandwich and go clean the floor and give our cat a bath!”

“We don’t have a cat…”

“EXACTLY, YOU DUMB CUNT!”

“Ryan, please stop yelling, you’ll attract attention and attention isn't good.”

“Why? I’d love to see your ass get whooped in jail.”

“You’re an accomplice… You’ll come down with me,” Brendon nearly whispers, but Ryan still hears him. “I know you’re real and you have a life and I’m sorry for pulling you into this mess.” Ryan just dumbfoundedly stares at him. He heard what Brendon had said, but he didn’t understand. Maybe he was finally snapping?

 

Brendon pulls the wheel abruptly and turns into a small parking lot of a diner. “Where are we?” He asks and stares at the giant neon sign connected to the roof.

“Downtown,” Ryan grumbles and stares daggers at him. “If you’d start driving again that’d be real nice.”

“Have you ever eaten here?” Brendon keeps staring at the sign, seemingly have disconnected from reality.

“Brendon, will you just p- Where do you think you’re going?” Brendon ignores Ryan and walks into the diner. He looks around for- there.

“Well if it isn’t Brendon Urie.”

“Josh Dun,” Brendon says and slides into their booth, “Tyler Joseph.”

“We could phone the police right now, y’know,” Tyler says and cuts into his pancake.

“And what would you tell them? _‘911? I’m in a diner with murderer Brendon Urie! Oh, my name? Local accomplice of infamous illegal drug dealer Josh Dun, Tyler Joseph! '_  That’d be dumb, wouldn’t it? Besides, I’m your ride.” Brendon smirks and grabs a piece of bacon off of Josh’s plate.

“You rat, that’s-”

“Brendon!” Ryan walks over to the booth and glares at his boyfriend.

“Well if it isn’t Ross-” Josh begins,

“The only clean soul in this foursome,” Tyler finishes. 

“Don’t wanna hear it. Brendon, let’s go,” Ryan grabs onto Brendon’s arm and starts pulling to signal _‘Let’s go, now’_.

“But these are our road trip pals!” Brendon whines and pushes Ryan’s hand off.

“Yeah, Bren and I made a deal that whatever he kills I’ll dispose of, so we’re running with you,” Tyler explains and slides out of the booth, “Let’s go before we have to pay.”

 

“Why are we at a church?” Josh asks and the four boys walk towards said building.

“Tyler and I’s deal started last week, so I have to go find the last guy I killed. He should be in a casket in the basement since the funeral is being held here in the afternoon.”

“Can I just sleep in the car? It’s fucking midnight and I have no reason to be here besides the fact that this fucker,” Ryan gestures to Brendon, “has to keep murdering everyone who comes across his path.”

“Not true!” Brendon pouts, “Only a select few that come across my path.”

Ryan rolls his eyes and slams the car door shut as the other three continue to the church basement.

“Is it locked?” Tyler asks and Josh immediately smacks him in the arm.

“Of course it’s gonna be locked,” Josh says as Brendon pulls a keychain out of his jacket pocket.

“Which is why I snuck in during mass yesterday and stole the spare set,” Brendon opens the door and they walk down the steps. When they get down the two flights, they are met with…

“There’s nothing here, Bren,” Tyler says and Josh sighs.

“Uhm… Well… Maybe it’s already upstairs?” Brendon runs his hand through his hair and starts walking in the dark towards the door leading to the back of the actual church. Tyler and Josh trail behind him.

“I can’t believe we’ve broken into a church,” Tyler whispers as they walk towards the alter. He quietly genuflects when Josh isn’t looking, but Brendon sees.

“You’re far from a good little Christian and your ‘God’ is dead,” Brendon hisses at Tyler, which earns him a shocked look from the latter.

“Not here either,” Josh says and turns to the other two boys.

“Uhm…” Brendon starts but is at a loss for words. “Maybe he’s at the hospital still? Or… Did they have a wake? They might’ve had a wake,” Brendon starts talking to himself.

Josh begins walking down the center aisle of the pews to find anything, any clue, and grabs a pamphlet off of one of the benches. “Brendon? Yeah, no wonder he’s not here,” Josh calls over and grabs his attention, “The funeral tomorrow ain’t him.”

Tyler chimes in, “Didn’t you kill him, like, yesterday, too? His body probably hasn’t been found yet!”

 

Ryan holds close to the single pillow that he packed for both Brendon and him. He had pack only essentials since they only had two small suitcases, so he had to cut out all the extra snuggly stuff like stuffed animals, lots of pillows, fluffy blankets… Just the thought of those made Ryan all warm and soft. Ryan just wanted his innocence back, just to cuddle with his lovely boyfriend and have girly drinks while watching entire seasons of Dance Moms together. Ryan’s dozing off to fantasies of simpler times, when it was all warm and soft.

 

_“I swear to God if Abby doesn’t give Nia the part of Rosa Parks I will throw this TV out of the window,” Brendon jokingly threatened and downed his drink._

_“You are so drunk,” Ryan poked Brendon, which Brendon took as a signal to pull him closer for some reason. “Gah, I love you.”_

_Brendon lightly kisses his forehead as Ryan pulled the covers closer. “I’ve never felt like this before. Not with…” He trails off._

_“Patrick?” Ryan supplied and Brendon just groaned._

_“Mhm. Patrick…” He mumbled into Ryan’s shoulder._

_“I can’t understand you,” Ryan tells his boyfriend as one of the moms and Abby started screaming on the TV._

_“Nothing, nothing.” Brendon sighs and continues, “You almost feel real. Are you?”_

_“I’m… real?” Ryan’s reply came out as more of a question._

_“Oh my…” Brendon pulled the cover off of him and stood up. “I… Oh! Maybe if…” Brendon started mumbling to himself._

_Ryan jumped up too and started hugging him, “You’re so drunk,” the two started giggling together._

 

Ryan snaps out of his thoughts with the sudden realization that Brendon’s strangeness that night was not a product of alcohol, definitely not any drunken nonsense. He knew that he’d have to corner him for answers, but in order to do that… Tyler and Josh had to be gone. Ryan isn’t a killer though, and he knew that, too.

_Bang._

Ryan jumps and turns around to look out the window of the trunk, in the direction of where the noise came from.

_Thud. Knock._

Ryan turns around to the window by him and-

“HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!” He screams and moves away from the window. The person kept knocking on the window in a panic. They were probably lost and in danger, that’s all that was wrong, right? Ryan rolls the window down to allow the guy to explain himself.

“Uhm, I’m a little,” The guy groans and continues, “lost and injured. Think you could bring me to a hospital before it’s too late?” He winces in pain.

“Oh shit, of course.” Ryan forgets about how pissed his companions will be and helps the guy into the car. He hops into the driver’s seat and pulls out of the lot, going straight for the hospital. “What’s your name? So I can give the nurse people it.”

“Pete Wentz… Well technically it’s Peter L-” He begins but groans in agony before he can finish.

“Relax, dude. Wait- Pete Wentz?”

“Huh? Oh, _shit_ ,” Pete says, “Ryan?”

“Yeah, where the fuck have you been? How’s life been going since you fucking left all your friends for the dust,” Ryan asked, hissing the last sentence in annoyance.

“Look, I just wanted- Ugh, fuck,” Pete was starting to find simple things like talking and breathing hard.

“Okay, just… Relax, please. We’re almost there,” Ryan tried helping even though he lacked the proper intelligence and skill set to ease Pete’s pain, “Try to stay awake for as long as you can.” Pete groans in response and blinks a few times to keep himself alert. Ryan turns onto a highway and starts speeding and going in and out of lanes to reach the hospital quicker. Despite the constant bumps and sharp movements he was hitting, Pete found it so easy to just close his eyes and drift off into the warmth of the darkness…

 

_“Thank you!” Patrick beamed at the waitress for the two of them and turned back to face Pete, who had already begun eating his pancakes. “You don’t even cut them, you just feast, God,” Patrick scolded teasingly._

_Pete took a moment to swallow the piece he bit off and then replied, “What can I say? I’m a little guy with no manners.”_

_“Like a squirrel.”_

_“Wow, thanks,” Pete said monotone and ripped another part of the pancake off with his teeth._

_“No syrup either? That’s not even a squirrel- no, they have the intelligence to do that- that’s like a… diseased squirrel,” Patrick teased again and started to eat his food._

 

“ _Pete?_ ” A voice like someone he used to know whispered, bringing Pete to a room of black. “ _Pete!_ ” It shouted this time, and the room turned white and slowly shifted into colors.

 

_“Pete, finally, you’re awake! You sleep like a hibernating bear!” Patrick squealed and hugged him. He hugged back and pecked Patrick on the chin._

_“I thought I was a diseased squirrel,” Pete joked, earning a punch on the arm from Patrick._

_“Do you know who’s birthday it is today?” Patrick grinned at Pete._

_“Uhm, mine?” The reply came out like he wasn’t sure._

_“Of course! I was planning on a walk in the park by that tree of ours, then maybe we could get take out and have dinner under it… but it’s past lunchtime already and you don’t look like you’re ready to take on the world anytime today,” Patrick explained, sounding a little disappointed but still kept a large smile plastered on his face._

_“No, I just need to take a shower. We can still go, it’s fine,” Pete was quick to assure his lover. Patrick frowned at him, but didn’t object._

 

_“By dinner I meant like… actual food,” Patrick frowned as Pete cut up the pizza in slices for them to share._

_“We didn’t get this from Karen, ‘Trick, this food is pretty real as far as I know,” Pete grinned his stupid little toothy grin at him as he plopped the pizza cutter onto the picnic blanket._

_“You’re lucky it’s your birthday, you Spongebob loving idiot.” Pete picked up two slices and handed one to Patrick. Once Patrick grabbed his, Pete quickly intertwined their arms so they could feed each other. Patrick raised an eyebrow and let out a soft giggle, “Really?”_

_Pete forced the slice in his hand towards Patrick’s mouth, smearing some sauce onto his face. Patrick bit into it and pulled back so he wouldn’t choke on the food. He replaced the slice in Pete’s hand with his own, refusing to be a living cliche. “You’re no fun!” Pete pouted, and Patrick just rolled his eyes._

_There was silence for a while._

_“I love you,” Patrick whispered._

_“I love-”_

 

Ryan jerks the car over the moment he hears gunshots being fired. He looks into the sideview mirror- which has been shattered by a bullet. “Just perfect!” Ryan sarcastically exclaims and shifts his focus to the rearview mirror. He sees a big white van pulling up to them, which he recognizes from the church parking lot. People start climbing out of the vehicle and make their way towards his car. He can easily make out the figures as Brendon, Josh, and Tyler. Quickly remembering that he had Pete motherfucking Wentz in the backseat, Ryan begins to panic, especially since they had loaded firearms.

Brendon taps on the window, which Ryan rolls down. “You left,” Brendon whispers and Ryan stares, unsure of what to say or do. “YOU FUCKING LEFT ME!” He now screams which makes Ryan flinch.

Tyler interjects, “You left _us_.”

Brendon whips around and doesn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. Tyler groans and falls to the ground as Josh lets out a yelp and drops down to hold his friend (with benefits, but that doesn’t really matter right now).

Tyler let out a shaky breath as Josh’s tears fell onto his face. He wanted to say something, just assure Josh that everything would be fine, that he loved him, anything. But he couldn’t. His body wasn’t functioning correctly. Tyler’s vision blacked, but he could still hear. His chest felt like it was on fire, but numb at the same time. He heard another shot, but he was too numb to react. He felt a slight pressure change next to him, but he couldn’t really comprehend what was happening. He stopped hearing, and eventually stopped breathing.

So does Josh.

Ryan just stares at the bleeding bodies of his acquaintances as Brendon rants about whatever. “Listen to me, you dipshit!” Brendon hisses and grabs Ryan’s chin, forcing his eyes to stare into Brendon’s. “I was just trying to help, help you get back to the real world so you didn’t have to be trapped in this fever dream with me, but nothing was going the right way,” Brendon whispers through tears, “But you had to FUCKING GO AND RUIN IT BY RUNNING AWAY!” He brought his volume up to a shout.

“Brendon?” Ryan whispered, confused as to what he was saying.

“I’m- you’re-” Brendon choked on his words. He was breaking and they both knew that.

“We’re all real,” Ryan tried calming him down.

“NO, _NOTHING_ IS! I THOUGHT MAYBE GETTING RID OF EVERYONE WOULD…” He trailed off, getting lost in his running thoughts.

“Would let me escape?” Ryan questioned, and Brendon just nodded, running his hands through his hair while sobbing.

Brendon remembered the gun on the ground and in one swift move, picked it up and pulled the trigger in whichever direction his mind thought was best.

 

The next day, five people were reported missing- Brendon Urie, Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun, Peter Wentz, and George “Ryan” Ross, along with the van of a church’s bible study group. All five people were never discovered, but all proclaimed dead. The authorities had a feeling there was someone behind it, seeing as Patrick Stump had close relations with all five and was murdered, but the case was dismissed. However, they were right.

Brendon Urie was behind all of it.

He drives off to a new city, to reign as the king of destruction, drugs, and death for a while until the heavy weight of guilt pulls him ten feet underground and seals him off with a tombstone.


End file.
